Written By: Casey Gervig
Last night I was reflecting back on the day as I was falling asleep, and a pattern was presented to me. Over the past few days around 4pm I would get grumpy, varying states of grumpy but in general grumpy. I began to explore this thinking: is this an energetic hook? No, Is this some sort of entity I've allowed in to this experience? No. This went on for quite some time. Is it the amount of work I have been doing on the property, was I not really enjoying myself as much as I thought I was? No!
Everything in my life (on the outside) was working exactly the way I had felt it should be! Then came this message "We're not worthy, We're not worthy!". Just as it was in the Wayne's World movie. I began to feel through this and found that there MUST be various sides to the unworthiness I am processing through because I definitely felt worthy of this beautiful life I am living! But the unworthiness message kept coming through! I began to see times where I would restrict myself to low levels of decision making when it came to our business, and how I would shy away from taking part in some of the planning and creating involved in the business. My innermost truth was that I didn't feel worthy of taking part in these processes because, I was afraid I would make a wrong decision, which might cost us money. Or, sometimes would feel as though I wasn't smart enough to weigh in on business decisions. Gage is very business savvy and I have seen him plan incredible things which worked out beautifully. The unworthiness program (virus) that I had running in the background of my computational awareness (intellect) would compare these big beautiful things Gage had done to the things that I had done. No matter how amazing anything I had done was, this unworthiness program would block the good and exaggerate the bad. This is when I had noticed there are MANY MANY different sides to the unworthiness program. As I type this I am seeing even more sides to the program. The I must work myself to death for the approval of others, is another side of the unworthiness program that has manifested in my experience. There is an unworthy program that also says I must outwardly appear worthy (even cocky!) because I am so unworthy…. I must work out to have a beautiful body because I have no inner worth, I am just a pretty face. All these streams of thought lead back to that same place of unworthiness.
While it may take a while to get here for many of us, there are signs that show up in our day to day that can help us see where the opportunity for growth lies. Standing at the ledge of growth, looking down in to this chasm of unknown darkness it is often our first response to want to avoid looking deeply into ourselves. For me it kind of feels like the anticipation of jumping out of an airplane and then having to manifest a parachute on the ride down! The scary part is over quickly, and lasting emotional freedom is the payoff.
So what are the signs of unworthiness that manifested for me? Having a beautiful life but still getting negative feelings, feeling depressed, feeling withdrawn from things that usually excite you, finding that things that used to pull you out of your "funk" no longer work, using things like food or caffeine to comfort your spirit body & mind. I feel there is a STRONG link between what we might call depression and unworthiness. There is a tendency in the unworthiness program to make us feel bad about ourselves for being unworthy. Be aware of this, know that part of the process, and if you feel your unworthiness no longer serves you and process, grow on a soul level, and then transform it.
As I realized last night the unworthiness program was the San Andreas sized crack in the foundation of my being. This program no longer served me. So as I began to thank my unworthiness for being a part of my life, and I began to feel the comfort it had provided to me since I was a little boy. Thank you unworthiness for keeping me safe until I was ready to take the deep look inward and really commit to depart from the comfort zone which you have built for me. I love you unworthiness, and I began to cry. I breathed in that authentic feeling of love and when I exhaled I sent that love vibration spreading through my body. I continued this for a few minutes until I could feel a new freedom in my energetic body, and then I intentionally transformed that unworthiness and released it as love and light into the collective. This I have learned is an important step in raising the vibration of our planet. I also feel that it is of great value to us to really connect with the place(s) in our bodies that we FEEL the emotion. For me the unworthiness manifested itself in my gut area, and that may be different for everyone. This is deepening our awareness of our being. Now, do I think that is all of the unworthiness I'll ever have to process through? Probably not…but now I know where it gets stored in my body, and I will likely be less afraid of looking inward on the next go around.
What happens if we don't face ourselves and go through the process of healing our unworthiness? Well, many things but the thing I want to focus on is; we attract other unworthy experiences, and people which can amplify the unworthiness we have within us. If you are empathic, and I believe as our conscious expansion continues we ALL will be to some extent, you will also feel the unworthiness of others more intensely. It may become hard to distinguish what is yours and what is not. This should be looked at as a signal to calibrate to the now moment, feel what is going on and ask our higher selves for guidance. You will likely have a similar experience to the one I detailed above.
So why had I chosen to be around all of this unworthiness, why had I manifested all this in my current experience? Compassion…
When we process through emotional traps like this we not only help ourselves, we help our fellow humans, and we deepen our understanding of the human experience. Compassion can be characterized by a deep understanding of the human experience. This is the reason we teach that our inner work is the answer to heal outer worlds.
Love thyself, have compassion for thyself…Love others, and have compassion for others…FORGIVE thyself and forgive others.
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